The Devil drives a Honda!

I choose to be happy. Everyday. That does not always mean I am in a good mood, or smiling, but I make the conscious effort to pull myself up and out of anything that is dragging me down. It is not always easy.

After battling depression and several other issues life handed me, and let's face it, I handed myself most of it, I woke up one day and CHOSE to live a happy, giving, meaningful life. For the most part, choosing to be happy has wonderful benefits. Have you ever tried to argue or fight with a really peaceful happy person?? They won't do it , they don't need your approval to be happy with their lives.
And truly happy people don't need to blame the world for their problems either, they know it is a waste of energy.

SO, with that being said, I wanted to share my day today with you, just to show you how you can ALWAYS chose to be happy in ANY situation.

I was traveling with work like I do everyday. My day already started off balance with an early morning phone call  about an issue at work. It is my job to fix the issue, but really? At 6:30 in the morning when I haven't had an ounce of coffee??!! DEVIL! I dealt with it, but it made my day start off behind schedule,but that is ok I said, because it gave me a chance to run a couple of errands that I really needed to get done. Hey hey hey, look at me making lemonade from lemons!!

SO, then the rest of the day I just battled the devil not wanting me to be happy. I wanted to be mad because something in my life wasn't fair. I was proving myself again, and battling the dang DEVIL! Then I remembered what my therapist, and countless facebook pages say:
The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself, and what others think of you has nothing to do with you. So amidst my madness I kept telling myself that.

The day got better, so good that I decided I had time to stop at my favorite grocery store on the way home, ALDI. Then this happened.....

As I was exiting the car, I put my keys and phone inside my purse, opened the door, hit the lock button, then stepped outside. I quickly realized that I needed a quarter for a cart (because that is how they do it there and it is the best idea ever) so I grabbed my change purse to look for one. As I am standing there with my door open, a young lady in a black Honda pulls up and just stares at me. She wanted to park next to me but I guess she thought she was driving a school bus because she glared at me to move out of her way. So I did, I set my purse in the seat and shut the door to get out of her way. BOOM. Locked keys in car!! DANG IT!!! I quickly realized the only thing I have is my little wallet. No phone, keys, nothing. She sees the WHOLE thing, and I manage a laugh and say to her, I just locked my keys in the car when I moved out of your way, can I borrow your phone to call a locksmith? Know what she said?  "I am in a huge hurry, I'm sorry"
WHAAA????   I am in a hurry too, and I was being nice so you could park your tiny car that you think is an Amtrak train or something. 

I was literally standing there with my chin to floor. SO.. I went into the store and the nice people there let me call for help. As I waited, I got my groceries, and while in line to check out, I spilled my coin purse all over the floor, the girls behind me in line helped me pick it all up and laughed with me about my day at the store. They had been walking into the store and saw the whole thing in the parking lot. Then the cashier lady told me I just needed to call it a day and go home. So I took her advice.

But you know what?? I could have really let that girl have it. And a short time ago, I would have chased her into that store and made her feel bad for what she did. But I didn't need to do that. I chose to be happy. I actually walked in behind her with a smile on my face, knowing that this wasn't going to ruin my life. It did cost me $35, which I thought was a good price for a locksmith. Because even though that lady didn't show me kindness, she showed me something else. I am kind. And there are others who are kind. Like the store manager who let me use the cordless phone. The cashier who actually had a business card of a local locksmith in his wallet to hand me. It is like God saw the Devil in the parking lot and got his angels ready to serve me. The kind girls that helped me pick up my change. We all had one thing in common: Our days were interrupted by something that happened to someone else. and we chose to be happy with it. You see, I held up the line when I asked the cashier for the locksmiths card, and when I dropped all of my change. But I was surrounded by people who where not bothered by my misfortune. And I CHOSE to believe that it was because of my attitude towards the situation. That lady in the Honda cost me $35 bucks. But she taught me a great lesson. Nothing is that bad, that we can't chose to find some type of happy in it.

There are worse things I could be facing than a lockout. Many people I know are struggling with money, health, losing a job, death, and I just plain and simply don't have it that bad. I am lucky. I have true love, about 5 friends that I know would do anything for me, a great family, a heart that wants to help people,  a good job, and I am pretty darn healthy.

So please, CHOSE to be happy. Because like I always say (and they are not my words)...you get back what you put out there, with your thoughts and your actions. So why waste the universe's time with negative thoughts and actions? make them good, and you will get good, even when it comes with a locksmith bill.

Now I have to go because I returned home from my Zumba class to find that my daughter fell asleep after I left and did not clean up the dishes from dinner, and the dog helped himself to the chili on the stove , which means that there are about one billion splatters of red chili all over my stove and cabinets and floor. Good times.

I chose happy!!

Thanks for reading......

You won't find the cure for the worlds problems in the Cosmetic aisle at Target.....

I don't know what this blog is really about, two things mostly:
1. Happiness
2. Helping save the world (yes, I am going to tell you how to do it)


Passion. Every time I see or speak that word, I can't help to go back to my earlier days when I would spend my Friday nights with my friends, drinking a fine beverage known as Purple Passion.  I don't even remember what it tastes like, but I do remember loving the name. I am a passionate person. Maybe dramatic is more like it. When I discover something I believe in, or that gives me purpose, I run with it like Forrest Gump runs with the football. That is also my problem, I am always running. It's like the QB passes me the ball, I take it 10 yards to save the puppies, then cut up the middle 5 yds and save the babies in Africa, then run down the sideline to help make sure all of Gods people have equal rights, until I get forced out of bounds. 1st down though...go me!! There are SO many things I am passionate about, it is filling every crevice of my life.

Do these things make me happy? Am I filling a void? I don't know. I have struggled with what happiness is all of my life. When I was a little girl, my idea of happiness was always to get married and live on a farm. Not a real farm though, like one of those Little People toy farms where there isn't any dirt or poop. Everything is just really pretty and the IDEA of having cows and chickens and fresh vegetables is the dream. In reality, farms are dirty, hard work, and you have to get up at stupid o'clock just to make it all work right.

Then, my idea of happiness changed as I became a woman. It was all about this: IF or WHEN I am skinny, pretty, and popular, then I will be happy. IF or WHEN I have the car of my dreams, it will make me super hot and everyone will love me, THEN I will be happy.  WHEN I lose just 10 more pounds, I will be acceptable to society and then , someone will want to be with me. Oh wait, I need to color my hair, get some acrylic nails, maybe change the color of my eyes because Cosmo says brown eyes are sexy, mine are NOT brown!! No one will ever want me now! I must also go get a tan because tan people look thinner and it hides jiggle. Man, I am gonna be so busy, but once I do all of these things, I am gonna be SOOOO happy!!!

Fast forward 10 yrs.....I pretty much accomplished all of those things. Ask me if I was happy. Go ahead. I was tired, tan, skinny, wealthy, starving, scared, angry, vulnerable and drove a kick ass car. Did you see happy in that sentence anywhere??? Nope, no happy. Now, let me be clear...I am not saying I was miserable with my life, or the people in it, that wasn't it. I was not happy inside. I was looking and searching for this idea of FEELING happy. But I was not happy inside. It was internal, not external. I had no passion, no purpose.

The day I decided to stop looking outward for happiness, and start with the person standing in the mirror, was the first day of true happiness. Have you ever spent a day with yourself? It is weird. I mean really spent time with you. Not watching TV, surfing the web, or cleaning. I mean sitting alone and having a meet and greet with you. Try it....but do not invite wine into the day, or you will end up driving through  McDonald's in your pajamas sans brassiere asking for a Whopper. Long story.

OK, let's get back to the point of this post. Do you want to be happy? Happier? Happiest??
You need to find you purpose. If you can't find your purpose, then you need to find your passion (thank you Rev. TD Jakes). When you find your passion, then you will collide with your purpose. It doesn't mean this is a job people. Many of us have a purpose in life that has NOTHING to do with how we make our living. Think about the 5 people closest to you. I bet you can identify a passion, purpose, skill, talent, whatever you want to call it. We all have it. My best friend has a passion for running, and it inspires her, she also has a purpose of living a grateful life. I see that in her shine through to other people, me especially. I am sure I have worn her out with giving me spiritual advice.
I have family members who could stitch you a prom dress in an hour, knit you an entire outfit, cook you a gourmet meal, and re wire your house in one afternoon. They have passion, purpose. When you find that, you will find your happy. And when you find your happy, THEN everything else falls into place. YOU will always have YOU. So guess what folks, you better start learning to put up with yourself!! When you can do that, you attract all the happy in the world into your world. Maybe you will notice the leaves on the trees as you walk into work, or how beautiful the clouds can be.

Here is the part two: Save the world.

It starts with you, and no one else. "You can't help everyone, but you can help someone. Reach out and be kind to another soul and start the ripple" I don't know who said that, but I posted it on my page the other day. It is so true. We need to just be kind to one another, and then they will feel the ripple effect of our kindness, and it will pass onto the next person, and then, kindness will take over the world! People who do harm to others do it because they have something missing. Maybe no one was very kind to them, so they do not know how to be kind back. All they know is pain and suffering, so they exude that to others. Let's put an end to that. Pay it forward? I have experienced and given my pay it forward moments folks, it works. You get back what you give. What are you giving?

Now, here is where the two tie together, stop looking to the outside for your happy. Look inside. Find your happiness in a hobby, daydream, animal, children, Jesus, basketball, WHATEVER. I can promise you this, it will NEVER be found in the cosmetic aisle at Target. When you find your happy, let others have some of it. They will share it with even more people, do good things, and the ripple effect will begin. And then no more government shutdowns, because everyone will be all like, Oh , hey man, we don't want anyone to suffer, and the parks are way too beautiful to shut down, so we need to make a deal.

That is how I see it, anyway.

Thanks for reading,
Amber

Pray, don't Prey.

You hear it all of the time," I will pray for you", "you are in my prayers", "praying for you in this difficult time." oh, and my favorite, "sending prayers". I am not saying that these people will never pray for you, or whatever the situation is that needs prayer. What I am saying is, what is prayer? Ok, I realize I am opening up a huge can of worms here, and this is NOT a religion debate. This is about a girl who is tired (and guilty at times) of PREYING, not PRAYING.

It is very easy to ask for things in prayer. Dear God, please let me get this new job. Dear God, if you will just answer this one prayer, I will.....Or, Dear God, please don't let this happen, or that happen. So, when the one thing that you asked God to do for you, does not get done, who do you blame? God.
That is where Pray turns to Prey. We seek out the things we want, or don't want, and ask God to handle things for us. We PREY upon God. We PREY upon others, we PREY upon things. Then we walk around not sure if God even exists because the man never answers our prayers. Well, have you ever thought that maybe it isn't all about you, and that maybe those prayers were answered? Just not the way you wanted. I am so guilty of this, in the past. I have prayed for things, events, and circumstances to go my way, and when they didn't, I would get frustrated. I never realized that the unanswered prayer was because something else was waiting for me, God knew what he was doing, and I was running around grabbing him by the neck demanding he make things better!! UGH!

WE PREY a lot. It is exhausting. We wish bad things for people, because it isn't fair that bad people get away with bad things. And good people had to suffer. I thought I was praying wrong. Or God hated me. Never ever have I questioned my belief in God. He is real. I see that everyday when I look at my children. I just thought that maybe I had made so many mistakes that I was in a "spiritual time out" and he had shut me off. Oh I was so wrong.

So I changed how I approached prayer. Instead of asking God to do or help, I started asking him to do what will be done. "thy will be done" I took the me out of prayer, and gave it to God to handle. I let go of control, that is right I am so controlling that I tried to control God! I simply said" I pray that your will be done, and you comfort the hurt" I also started being thankful to God. Just simply thanking him for anything from the sun shining to hearing of a friend who won the battle from cancer.

All of the sudden, praying was better. It felt like I was being heard. I guess a good way to explain it is that I lowered my expectations, I started to listen to the whispers from God. And in doing that, I started to change the way I lived my life.

That being said, sometimes in life, we encounter difficult people. People that no matter what, cause you to want to give yourself a root canal then have to deal with them. I call these people lesson planners. They are sent here to help us learn a lesson, that for some reason God thinks we need to learn. They may grate our every last nerve, and make us wish we could karate chop their head, but if we will take a step back and look at them as a lesson, then we will begin to do God's work. Just look at them and say" there is a lesson , and even a gift here in this situation, and I need to find out what it is." If we handle difficult people in this manner, we will always come out ahead, and better for it. I am not saying we will get what we want from it, but it means that what we thought was good for us, doesn't serve us any longer. God knows what he is doing, he has been around for a minute or two.

I had convinced myself that in the past two months, God has decided that I have a lot of lessons to learn, because he sent A LOT of people, events, and feelings my way that I had to fight off like I was SheRa Princess of Power. But, I did not ask him for what I wanted, I asked him to do what needed to be done. And as always, he did. And I am fine. I lived another day, as my best friend says. And living is pretty fun. You just have to learn how to do it right. If you want to know how, then PRAY, don't PREY.

I want to leave you tonight with a few quotes from some great inspirational people:

“An authentic life is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer.”

Sarah Ban Breathnach   “Grace is available for each of us every day - our spiritual daily bread - but we've got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach   Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson   Thanks for reading! Amber

Shut It, Martha!

Ok, I will admit it, for quit sometime I wanted to be a “Martha” of a woman. I loved the idea of having place settings for my dinner guests, and planning a meal complete with coordinating dinnerware and napkins. Even wearing a dress to go with the theme.  I can remember hosting my first official Thanksgiving dinner. Yep, I made place cards, only no one in my family is good at RSVP’ing, so I just made one for everybody. I cleared out my living room to make extra dining room for the guests. I hand-picked the tablecloths, the centerpieces, and even the serving dishes. It was going to be PERFECT! Well, I can tell you this much…….nobody sat where I put their place card. Everyone congregated in our tiny kitchen because, well, that is where all of the food was. Although my centerpieces were quite impressive, they were quickly removed to make room for all of the “Big Swig” fountain drinks that my guests brought because they knew there would be no soda at this event. At first, I was disappointed, but then I realized that it was a great time, and a wonderful meal, even if the person in charge of bringing the noodles was nearly an hour late and then when she did show up, she asked me if I had some broth to cook the noodles in….are you kidding me????Regardless of the look of the table, the al dente’ness of the noodles, it was a great time. However, it did not stop me from putting on some pretty spectacular parties over the past 10 years. I just learned to do it my way, not Martha’s.

 I mean, has anyone ever listened to some of Martha’s advice and tips on running a home and preparing meals? I guess I should have seen it coming, The lady does raise her own chickens and grows almost every plant known to human kind. Not to mention she has a staff of hundreds of people to help her out. I have a staff of one. Me.

I listen to Martha on XM because I drive so much for work that I get really bored. So I hear her giving advice to these poor, desperate women, just trying to make it in this woman eat woman world. One lady called in (mind you she did mention she lived in RURAL Kentucky) and asked Miss Martha to suggest some places she could buy decorations for her house that were affordable yet tasteful. In my mind, I was thinking, ok….TJ Maxx aka Homegoods, Gordmans, Marshalls, Target (which in my house is considered high end) even Big Lots has cool stuff for cheap!!! You know what Martha said? Crate and Barrel, Williams Sonoma,   Z Gallarie, and OF COURSE she plugged Macy’s, since that is where all of her stuff is sold. I thought, come on lady!!!  This poor girl is from the hills of Kentucky, she doesn’t know what Z Gallarie is!  And she wants affordable! Here again, don’t go asking a gazillionare for advice on cheap goods. Lesson learned.

Then there are decorating tips. One lady asked for some cool Easter ideas. Martha had a cool response. Blow out real eggs and decorate them. That’s right, poke a tiny hole in an egg, then blow the goop out, and decorate the egg and group them together as a table scape, and to make it even more festive, she suggested buying the little egg holder things, I don’t remember what they are called, but I bet you can get them at Macy’s. I barely have time hide Easter eggs Martha, and now you want me to blow the yolk out of a perfectly good egg??? No thanks. In my house we hard boil them, color them, hide them, and then enjoy egg salad or whatever. Then she added that a nice touch is to have real bunnies in the yard for the kids to chase. Who is taking these critters home after the egg hunt Martha? You can have your trusty helpers take them back to the bunny barn when you are done, what do the rest of us do? Party favors?
OR here is a good one, “Hi Martha, I am hosting a pool party for my daughters 5^th birthday. I was wondering what ideas you can give me on decorations and party favors”? Martha had the idea of giving everyone a personalized beach towel and a pair of flips flops. In theory, this is actually a pretty good idea. However, many of us can’t afford or even plan ahead enough to have guests names embroidered on their towels. Without having your own embroidery machine, this one was a fail in my book. And flip flops? How do you know what size everyone wears? And what if someone RSVP’s but doesn’t show up, and someone who didn’t RSVP decides to show up, and then little Bobby has to take home little Suzie’s towel and size 3 flip flops??? I say it’s a flipping pool party, let them swim and have fun, then send them home with a $1 beach ball from the dollar store that everyone can sign or draw cool stuff on. One size fits all.

 Now don’t get me wrong here, that woman is a genius. You don’t get her status by cooking Hamburger Helper and hanging blankets for curtains on your windows. My problem with most of her advice is that it is not practical. And honestly, if I am planning a huge event, and have months ahead to work on things, I will take her cute crafty ideas and run with them. Most of the time, I am throwing something together, and don’t have time to grow the vegetables that go into my soup.

I have a pumpkin cheesecake recipe that is to die for. It is a Martha original. It costs about $40 to buy all of the stuff that goes in it, and it takes over 12 hours to make from start to cooling process. So I make it once a year. Most of her recipes have so many steps in them that if I start one on Sunday after church, we are lucky to enjoy it on Tuesday.

Ladies, we don’t have to be Martha Stewart. Even her gardening advice is whack. Grow everything from seed? Not on my planet, that is what my local garden center is for. And I don’t want to hand prune and fertilize all the time. I buy the dirt with miracle grow in it, and cut everything back in spring and fall. Voila….

 Stop trying to be perfect, and just be fun. Do what works for you, your wallet and patience level. Don’t pull your hair out doing stuff that nobody will even notice. Instead, make things simple, and enjoy the company you are with. This was very hard for me, I used to have plates that matched the decorations, and I am not talking about paper plates. But practical is sexy, and smart. I have a great collection of Chinette now, and plastic silverware comes in every color of the rainbow. That is right, Martha doesn’t believe in paper or plastic dinnerware.

 Here is a rundown of some real advice for us gals and guys (I am not leaving you boys out) in the real world:

*It is ok to buy refrigerated pie crust. God will not judge you, Martha will, but she isn’t going to be checking ID’s at the pearly gates.

*Even more ok to use Cool Whip and not beat some whipping cream to the perfect consistency . The jury is still out  on canned whipped cream.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

*Kids art projects make for beautiful home furnishings, my favorite wall hanging is a rainbow my youngest painted, bought a $5 frame and BOOM.

*Don’t like your furniture anymore? Get some spray paint and new fabric. Call it re- purposed, shabby chic, whatever you want, just don’t call Martha.

*It IS ok to Facebook invite people to events. You don’t have to make your own paper, and buy paper cutters in cute little shapes to glue on handwritten invitations, UNLESS you WANT to. Your RSVP odds are still the same. But a Thank You card is NEVER out of style.

*Although not my first choice, precooked chicken breast is ok to serve your family. If I have to get to a ballgame in 30 minutes, I would rather serve that than run through a drive thru, who knows what is in that chicken.

*Don’t like to iron? Neither do I. May I suggest investing in Downy wrinkle release….take that Martha!

I could, and should write a book on my handy dandy ideas for living a good life without a Martha complex. Who am I kidding, I can’t even find time to write a check for rent. Maybe someday.

 If you made it this far in the blog, I feel like you should get a prize. How about a signed copy of my book when it is published, appropriately titled…..

SHUT IT, MARTHA!!!

 

Thanks for reading,

Amber

 

 

 

 

Let it be....

So, I was going to blog about "soul suckers".  But the past week of my life has really changed the way I look at things, everything to be exact. Life is so.....unexpected, and absolutely un-measurable.
Why do we try so hard to force things? To be in control? Life is going to do what life wants to do, and while we do project our wants to the universe, it doesn't mean bad things won't happen. But it does mean we have to learn to let life bring those things to us, knowing that they happen for us to continue on our path in this universe.

I am a control freak, there I said it. I want to control where my dogs relieves himself in my yard, it is that bad. And I will say, I have learned to "let it be" quite a bit over the past few years. It really helps.
But you know what is so hard to just let "be"? Watching someone hurt. Someone you care about just hurt so much and you cannot do any single thing for them, except just be there with them. And even then, you want to reach into their heart and take all the pain away....but you can't. It stinks.

We go along day to day, doing our thing. Work, family, social life, paying those bills we are so grateful to have. It all becomes our routine. One minute you are sitting around the patio table laughing with a loved one about bananas and panty house, then the next you are holding them in a puddle of tears as they mourn over terrible news. Terrible news...the worse kind....death. In a split second you go from not having a care in the world, to feeling like the world is crashing down on you. The pit you feel in your stomach makes you wanna throw up all of the cake and ice cream you just enjoyed. You become dizzy, numb, thinking, is this really happening??? Oh, it is happening alright, and there is nothing you can do about it. I have never been the best at nurturing someone, mostly because I never cared enough about myself to show care for others, but luckily I learned how to fix all of that, and I discovered that I am pretty darn good at comforting. It called selflessness. I think that is how you spell it anyway. I wasn't always that way, but thank God for blessing me with the tools I needed on my path. You see, the pain that I once suffered taught me to make changes to my life, so I can in turn be good for someone else. And I put those tools to work last week. Remember that people, pain is a teacher, and someday you will help others from your pain lessons!!

Do me a favor....don't tell someone who just lost a loved one that everything happens for a reason, or that they are in a better place. Tell them this effing sucks!!! And time heals nothing...time only creates a callous over our wound so it isn't so tender. So if you are faced with comforting someone who just lost a loved one....tell them this  "This is the worst feeling you will ever have to feel, so enjoy the good feelings when they come, and take them in, because they won't last forever. It sucks that you lost___________, and I hope you surround yourself with a good support system, or lots of alcohol to get you through this". That is what grieving people need to hear. Not the other stuff.
Because, even though we all know everything that happens to us in our lives, does have a meaning....we don't need reminded of that at a time of death. We will figure that out down the road.

I guess what I am trying to say is this....don't force life to roll with you. Learn to roll with life. Let life make your choices for you. Let life open and close doors for you. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, because what will happen, WILL happen, whether you like it or not. And like it or not, sometimes when we go through pain, it is because life is making plans for us. We don't have to understand it, we just have to allow it...don't fight it, and don't ever become a prisoner to pain. Embrace your pain, whether it is death, divorce, losing a job, sickness, etc... EMBRACE it for what it is, and I promise you it will make sense in other aspects of your life.

I recently got a tattoo on my foot that says "let it be". That has always been hard for me. Every now and then I look at it and it reminds me that if I can just do that, then I will be just fine.

Now, hear me universe......I am ready for you to open those doors wide open and make some awesome choices for me in my life. I can feel it, it is soooo close!!!

Thanks for reading,
Amber

Seriously, be grateful for your bills..

Let's be honest here....money does make the world go round...in one way or another. After trying to make a living on $10 an hour for six or seven months, it occurred to me that I was NOT destined to live this way. I was in an "uncomfortable" stage of my life.  I was just coming out of a 10 year relationship, living in a house that isn't a home, and realizing I miss my old life. It was hard...poor, poor me. I cried, I lost 45 lbs and went from a size 10 to a size 4 in two months. (it is called the divorce diet:You eat a McDonalds cheeseburger at noon only so you have energy to get through the day, and then some hot tea for supper, along with a bottle of wine to help you sleep. I don't recommend it, and it doesn't stay off. Man I wish I didn't get rid of all of those size 10's!!).
 Although I looked good in a little black dress, I hated the thought of even going anywhere. Living life with a giant hole in your heart is zero fun. I guess I should stop right here and thank those who put up with my pathetic butt during that time..so THANKS! Honestly, I just sucked at life. I checked out....but then.....I found an old book I bought called The Secret. I started reading it, and within a week, my mindset changed. I started living a life of gratitude. And instead of crying over what I lost...I gave thanks for what I had!! And you know what?? I got more. A lot more.

I started making cupcakes about two years ago. I have always loved to bake, and I thought this would be a good way to earn extra money. So, The Cupcake Fairy was born. I made a cute logo, told my friends and family to spread the word, and then I baked...and baked...and baked. I loved it. I would come home from work at least three nights a week and fill orders, or try new recipes. My kids hate cupcakes now, by the way. It not only gave me some extra cash,, it kind of gave me a purpose. And let me tell ya, boy did I need a purpose! I felt accomplished, and so so grateful that people enjoyed things that I made. I found myself, I started loving myself. And I got rid of those in my life who did not see my worth. I gave thanks for my life at least ten times a day. I would send my bills out to be paid and I would tell God thank you for giving me the ability to even have bills, and to pay them, even if I was broke afterwards.

I guess hard work does pay off, because after working my butt off at my real job, I was offered a promotion that could change my life...a job in sales with a great salary and benefits. I remember sitting at the front desk where I work and seeing the sales reps pull up in their company cars, and I would say, I can do that, I will do that. I put it out there....and the universe heard me!! BAM.

So, now I'm able to support my family, and make cupcakes! Woo Hoo!
If you know me, you know I am never satisfied with good enough. The cupcake business became a weekend thing after this new job kicked in. I no longer needed that extra money, so I decided to turn the business into a charity, and give all the money away. Hey, sometimes my donations to people are like $25...but at least it is something.

Here is my point in this rambling mess of words....It does not matter where you are in life, you can make it good. Be grateful, even if you feel like God robbed you of what you deserved, or wanted. Because you are never robbed of anything but your precious time that you could be spending doing good things and seeing the good that comes out of it, like PURPOSE. We all have one. Stop living your life half throttle. If you don't like something about your life, CHANGE it. Don't complain about it, don't blame others for it....do the work and change it yourself. Be positive, be grateful, and be nice!! Whatever it is you want, put it out there, and accept it when it tries to seep into your life in small ways you don't always notice...let it be!

Oh, and I will end with this....there are going to be people who see you living this way, and try to destroy it...don't let them....and that is a blog I will save for next time, titled "Soul Suckers". Man, I do not enjoy those types of people......

The link to The Secret Teachings website is listed below for those who want to learn more.

Gratefully yours,
Amber
http://store.thesecret.tv/content/The-Secret-Tools.htm#SECRETDAILYTEACHINGS

I have lots of ideas, so I am just going to blog about them ...because I can't seem to make any of them happen....

Ok, So I have never been into blogging, or writing. I have never taken classes on creative writing, or journalism, so I am not about to claim that I am a fantastic or even interesting blogger, writer, whatever. What I do have, is a very active imagination, and a lot of drive time for work.
I decided I should share all of my thoughts, ideas, opinions and even some advice on anything, but mostly on one topic....LIFE.
Let's face it, it really is a rough life, for all of us. Whether we have money, or are broke. Have great heath, or are sick. Great family, horrible family. Bad job, dream job. The list goes on. No matter our circumstances, each of us faces the same thing: Rough lives. Not all at the same time, and the same degree of difficulty, but we are all the same in that sense.
A few years ago, I was in that "rough" spot, only I didn't realize it. I was too busy running a business, being a mom, a partner, sister, friend, taxi driver, personal chef, therapist,etc... I was unaware of my own self. That is a dangerous spot to be in. You become reckless, faceless, and you take other people down with you. I was numb, mean, ungrateful, unforgiving, bitter, and most importantly....RECKLESS.
They say sometimes it takes losing all you have, to really see all you have. Yep, that is true. I lost it all...my mind included. But don't go feeling all sorry for me, I made many choices and contributed to me "losing" it all.
So, I invite you to take part in me sharing with you, my journey on coming out of the dark...because that journey led me to many things, and I can't wait to share with you what I have learned. So if you want to follow me, great, if not, ok, that is fine too. Just remember, life is tricky, and YOU are the only one who can change it, or not.

Thanks for reading!
Amber