Let it be....

So, I was going to blog about "soul suckers".  But the past week of my life has really changed the way I look at things, everything to be exact. Life is so.....unexpected, and absolutely un-measurable.
Why do we try so hard to force things? To be in control? Life is going to do what life wants to do, and while we do project our wants to the universe, it doesn't mean bad things won't happen. But it does mean we have to learn to let life bring those things to us, knowing that they happen for us to continue on our path in this universe.

I am a control freak, there I said it. I want to control where my dogs relieves himself in my yard, it is that bad. And I will say, I have learned to "let it be" quite a bit over the past few years. It really helps.
But you know what is so hard to just let "be"? Watching someone hurt. Someone you care about just hurt so much and you cannot do any single thing for them, except just be there with them. And even then, you want to reach into their heart and take all the pain away....but you can't. It stinks.

We go along day to day, doing our thing. Work, family, social life, paying those bills we are so grateful to have. It all becomes our routine. One minute you are sitting around the patio table laughing with a loved one about bananas and panty house, then the next you are holding them in a puddle of tears as they mourn over terrible news. Terrible news...the worse kind....death. In a split second you go from not having a care in the world, to feeling like the world is crashing down on you. The pit you feel in your stomach makes you wanna throw up all of the cake and ice cream you just enjoyed. You become dizzy, numb, thinking, is this really happening??? Oh, it is happening alright, and there is nothing you can do about it. I have never been the best at nurturing someone, mostly because I never cared enough about myself to show care for others, but luckily I learned how to fix all of that, and I discovered that I am pretty darn good at comforting. It called selflessness. I think that is how you spell it anyway. I wasn't always that way, but thank God for blessing me with the tools I needed on my path. You see, the pain that I once suffered taught me to make changes to my life, so I can in turn be good for someone else. And I put those tools to work last week. Remember that people, pain is a teacher, and someday you will help others from your pain lessons!!

Do me a favor....don't tell someone who just lost a loved one that everything happens for a reason, or that they are in a better place. Tell them this effing sucks!!! And time heals nothing...time only creates a callous over our wound so it isn't so tender. So if you are faced with comforting someone who just lost a loved one....tell them this  "This is the worst feeling you will ever have to feel, so enjoy the good feelings when they come, and take them in, because they won't last forever. It sucks that you lost___________, and I hope you surround yourself with a good support system, or lots of alcohol to get you through this". That is what grieving people need to hear. Not the other stuff.
Because, even though we all know everything that happens to us in our lives, does have a meaning....we don't need reminded of that at a time of death. We will figure that out down the road.

I guess what I am trying to say is this....don't force life to roll with you. Learn to roll with life. Let life make your choices for you. Let life open and close doors for you. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, because what will happen, WILL happen, whether you like it or not. And like it or not, sometimes when we go through pain, it is because life is making plans for us. We don't have to understand it, we just have to allow it...don't fight it, and don't ever become a prisoner to pain. Embrace your pain, whether it is death, divorce, losing a job, sickness, etc... EMBRACE it for what it is, and I promise you it will make sense in other aspects of your life.

I recently got a tattoo on my foot that says "let it be". That has always been hard for me. Every now and then I look at it and it reminds me that if I can just do that, then I will be just fine.

Now, hear me universe......I am ready for you to open those doors wide open and make some awesome choices for me in my life. I can feel it, it is soooo close!!!

Thanks for reading,
Amber