To my daughter on gradutation day....dont be a bitch

18 years ago, I was just a young girl who brought a beautiful child into this world. The circumstances were not ideal of most new moms. I was 17. I was pretty mature for my age. I wasn't like most high school kids...I didn't succeed in getting good grades, or awards for being a great athlete. I just stayed under the radar and couldn't wait to get out of that place. I didn't know many high school kids I went to school with, we moved in junior high so I didn't form many bonds. Made it a little tough to form friendships with women later in life...and that is why this blog is happening right now. As I drink my coffee and think about watching Kaitlyn receive her diploma....I cant help but to see myself. And I just want to SO  BADLY tell her ALL of things I know NOW, that I didn't have a clue about then. Life lessons, how to treat people, how people are supposed to treat you. I have a great mom, don't get me wrong....but I missed out on a lot of these lessons in life on how to live a good decent life. My dad died when I was 3, and I have never had any type of father figure in my life. I always thought that made me a stronger person, but actually, it made me miss out on how a daddy teaches his daughter to let boys and men treat her....which in turn caused me to go out into this world and make a whole bunch of mistakes. But you know what is good about mistakes??? They teach you lessons, and lessons make you wiser, and with wisdom come peace. Which is where I am sitting at today. PEACE.

SO , this is some advice I am offering up to my daughter....who is pretty much in the same place at 18 as I was.....

Learn to get to know yourself. Listen, you are going to be looking in the mirror at yourself the rest of your life. You need to find out who you are, what you like, what you don't. What makes you happy, what doesn't. Always treat yourself with kindness, because if you cant stand the sight of you, trust me...anyone who you  bring into your life will not be able to either. DONT BE A BITCH

Always learn new things...you are 18. There is no way to know what your passion in life is, it can change overnight. Keep trying new things and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. That is always where you will learn who you really are. Test your limits. Always believe in you, even when others say you cant do it. Put whatever you want in life out to the universe and I promise it will come to you....in many different shapes and forms. DONT BE A BITCH

Pay attention to nature. It tells the story of life. Watch the trees bud and bloom in the spring, smell the fragrance on the flowers when you walk by. take pictures. Don't forget how pretty they were when they loose drop their flowers. Notice the leaves change color. And in the winter when everything is dead, remember that in the spring, the rebirth will come. This is exactly how life works. Not everything will always be pretty, and sometimes life will be cold and dreary....but the pretty WILL come again .DONT BE A BITCH

Treat people awesome, even if they don't deserve this. You CAN control your reactions to others. It is not easy, but I PROMISE you this, you will be a better woman, mother, wife and friend if you always practice kindness. Don't judge other people...life is the toughest test you will ever take. If you thought school was hard, you are in for a huge disappointment with life. People will hurt you, use you, talk about you....and you can only control your reaction to it. DONT BE A BITCH

Always dress for the job you want. You are not going to make it to the top overnight. If you are not doing exactly what you want, visualize yourself doing the thing that you want...and dress for that job...aim high....stay humble.... And never be afraid to ask for what you want. DONT BE A BITCH

Be a good woman. Don't let men treat you poorly, and don't treat them poorly. Half of the men that cheat on their wives do it because their wife is a bitch. Withholds affection, resents them, and treats them poorly. Then the wife bitches because her man is a cheater. There is a proper way to care and feed your partner. CHOSE WISELY, and TREAT KINDLY.(thank you Dr Laura)  DONT BE A BITCH

Never call your partner names, never talk poorly about them to friends or family. If you are mad, walk away and do not talk about it until you are calmed down. Don't make a permanent decision when you are temporarily mad. Don't  lie. Tell the truth even if it effing sucks. Don't find yourself years later paying for it, because I promise you , you will. If you always look for the reasons to stay, you will never find a reason to leave. Don't walk away when things get tough. You will regret it. DONT BE A BITCH

Be a good mom. Don't be a best friend. You are so young. It will seem like fun to be cool and hip and give your kids everything. Teach them to earn it. Show them what love is by the way they see you treat your partner. Always be there, but always be firm. Mold them to become good people. Show them how to volunteer for the needy, tell them that they are not always going to win a game...there are winners and there are losers...don't give them a trophy for just showing up. Teach them to love themselves. Never take away their spirit of dreams and wishes. Always tell them you love them, even when they make you want to drink a bottle of vodka straight. Most of all, be a good role model...show them by the way you live your life, that they are loved and treat people with love. They will grow up seeing that and use it in their life. DONT BE A BITCH

I can say all of these things to you because I have made everyone of these mistakes at some point in my life. And where I am today, is a direct result of that. I have earned the right to be wise, because I have been very dumb at times. I have been prideful, and thought I knew it all. I used to be a bitch. I have come to realize three basic things that you need in order to get through this life:
A wishbone
A backbone
A funnybone
(that was taken from Dolly Parton)

well, and there is coffee and wine..but that will come later, I hope.

I love you my darling daughter, and please don't make the same mistakes I did, please use this as a guide to get you through your beautiful life and come out better in the end. And please, don't be a bitch.

Congratulations on become an adult, and don't ask me for anymore money
Love,
MOM