Guns and Roses

It's been forever since I've written a blog. I've been busy working, being a mom, and trying to survive in this world. It's truly a beautiful world. My country is a beautiful country. Have you ever visited a state park? They are nice. The oceans here? They are beautiful, and plentiful. Our mountains capture some of the most breathtaking photos you'll ever see. I love this place. I sit in my backyard in my home in a sleepy little Illinois town and give thanks for everything around me. The beautiful lilac bush, the gorgeous crepe myrtle blooming by the pool. My Kmart patio set that has entertained so many loved ones and delicious meals were served on. I am lucky. Blessed. Grateful. So why do I feel like shit? Why does my gut ache and my heart sink into my chest? Why do I have to feel so much? Why can't I turn off the word and live in a little bubble? So many others do it just fine. Why do I feel I have to single handedly change the world? When bad things happen, I want to fix them. Big or small. I do like helping people. Maybe that's my curse. It takes its toll on you. Saving animals, fighting for children who don't have a voice, making sure people are held accountable for their actions. Justice. I always wanted to be a lawyer because I can argue with a flag pole and I always have to fight for truth and fairness and accountability. That  ship has definitely sailed.... so I get myself involved in things that I feel can make a difference. I put my money where my mouth is. I put ACTION into my prayers, not just a post on social media. Prayers do not pay medical bills or change laws folks. Action does.

The latest "largest mass shooting in US History" has really hit me in the gut, and I can't really explain why. The last "largest mass shooting in US history " was pretty tough, too. The one before that was awful as well. I mean do we see a pattern here?? Each one gets larger and more horrendous. I'm not going to go into politics or start a debate on gun control. Do you know why? It will not matter. It does not matter anymore. School children were slaughtered in Sandy Hook , and nothing changed. We are already bought and paid for.  Let me just say this, I am a gun owner. I enjoy shooting, I have hunted, I have Target practiced and I respect firearms.  Please tell me what we need with guns that can slaughter hundreds  of people in one round?? Bird hunting??? Nope, a shotgun will work just fine... and yes, I have done it. It's a fun sport. Why do we need these guns??? The answer doesn't matter anymore. Left and right can't agree, common sense has "flew the coop".

I've been called a libtard, a snowflake, a dumbocrat... and my new favorite KampKillery. The funny thing is, I've never really considered my self so liberal. I'm a flag waving, veteran loving, apple pie baking American. I cry everytime the National Anthem is played. I eat deer meat and buffalo burgers. I love my farmer. So why does having some common sense when it comes to humanity make me a "libtard" . I have conservative friends, who see things the way I do. So are we conservative liberals? Hybrids? Are we the new black?  The common sense party??? I don't know the answer..... but I do know one thing.... there is a new way to survive......

My family and I attend music festivals and concerts all of the time. I was at one the night of the Vegas attack. A few years ago we started implementing a "plan". I started grooming my children to look around them and pay attention to people. To look for exits and places to hide should a shooting, bomb, etc.  happen while we were attending things like this. We would have a plan to meet up if we got separated  at a common place, etc... it's the new normal. It's part of parenting now. You have to teach your children that there are evil people out there and they don't care about gun laws and background checks. They may not be mentally ill, but they are certainly evil. I've decided to stop focusing so much energy in making the world a safer place, and focusing more energy on preparing my children for the day they will face situations like these. You know why? Because life is still worth living. We will still run marathons, we will still attend festivals, football games, baseball games, and we will still fly on airplanes. I will not let evil fear me into locking my family up in the house. That's not how we live. We teach our kids kindness. We teach them to stand up for their beliefs, but to not be ugly in doing so. And now, we teach our kids how to survive mass shootings. Schools. Concerts. Shopping Malls. Parades. Wal Mart. Doctors offices. There is no safe place.  We still go out and live.


Storms will keep storming, evil will keep shooting, fires will keep burning. It's the new normal. All we can really do is OUR PART. Helping with recovery efforts, sending MONEY along with your thoughts and prayers, help re build our forests and plant a tree. Listen to me very carefully: IT IS ON US!  Because the government will never please every citizen of this country. The left hates the right and the right hates the left and the good people suffer. (Like  my family with the new "tax cut")Welcome to America, land of the free , home of the brave.
Because you have to be brave to live here.....

Dear mean people who can't stand seeing someone thrive...

This blog is basically an open letter to those who just can't handle that some people chose to live a healthy, giving, peaceful life.
Listen, I'm no angel. I've done some stupid shit, I've said things I've come to regret. I've fucked up a lot of things in my nearly 36 yrs on earth. But you know what??? I try. I try to be enough. To be good. To make good choices with people, money, food, charity. And damn me for trying. You see, the thing that matters the most is that I KNOW I'm doing my best. You know what gets in the way of that?? Jealous people, trolls, and people who are so miserable they cannot stand to see you thrive and be well.
I read somewhere that once you love yourself, no one can make you feel unworthy. Or " only you can make yourself have a bad day". Bullshit. I know a lot of people who are healthy and happy , but it still hurts when someone is cruel to them. Or talks about them behind their back. It sucks. No matter who we are, we want people to like us. And when they don't, we think it's because there is something wrong with us. Well, there are a few things wrong with me for sure, but when someone is cruel to me or feels the need to mock me for doing good things, I know it's because of their own issues. Maybe they don't like me Becuase I pissed them off once. Or I lied to them one time. Maybe it's because I have healthy hair and nails. Or Becuase I support myself and ask for nothing from anyone. Have I always been these things? No

I use to weigh 60 lbs more, hated my body, hair and nails. I used to be an angry little elf. And I will admit, seeing others succeed and prosper was threatening to me. Because why? Because jealously.

I made changes in my life, and I now live off of the benefits of doing so. I have peace of mind. Self love, and all of that psychology babble.

So, why then do I get so upset when others are mean? Becuase I am human. But I use the tools I have to work through those feelings. When someone I love and cherish tells
Me that someone else says terrible things about me, that are not true.... It makes me want puke. When someone pokes fun at a charity that I started literally BY MY SELF, it hurts my heart. When someone who is friends with me on a certain social media site, and is actually so friendly to me in public , turns around and screenshots my statuses  and sends them to  someone who hates me and spends most of their life trying to ruin all the good I am..... It really fuckin hurts.  Yea, I know who you are. But I don't hate you, I actually think you are a great person who is just getting caught up in drama. I'm checking out of it though. So take all the screenshots you want , I'm proud of my life. I worked really fucking hard to get here.  And I won't let your little troll take that from me.

So why are people mean again??? Lots of reasons, but the biggest one I can think of is that they are just jealous of something you have.  Like happiness.

Ps. Yes I eat Bok choy, kale and I love to cook for someone I love. I work out three to five times a week Becuase I want to be healthy, and it's better than doping up on antidepressants.
Yes, I  like to run. Yes I like to bake. And yes,  I  like to wear jeans that  actually go up to my waist and my ass doesn't hang out of, and YES, sometimes I like to dress up in a  sexy lil dress.  Why? BECAUSE  I  CAN.

Best if used by:

I travel a lot. I see a lot of accidents. I see tow trucks, ambulances, state troopers directing traffic and sometimes I see injured people. It is a common sight along highways and interstates. Today, I was stopped in traffic due to an accident. It had just happened a few minutes before I came upon the scene. Once I stopped, the sirens and lights started flying by me, creating a symphony of fear, heartbreak and sheer panic. Three ambulances, three fire trucks, countless state police. They saturated the highway...shutting both lanes down. Like a desert highway. I couldn't go anywhere. Sit and pray everyone was ok. As I sat, I notice a lady running up beside my car waving her hands and screaming to another guy. "that's my daughter in there". I saw this woman sprint to the scene, I saw her fall to her knees.....people carried her away. That voice haunted me..."that's my daughter in there".. WOW, all I could think about is my daughters. Why do we do that? When we are faced with a traumatic situation, we put our own family in the picture?  I thought about having to get that call, to have to run to the car and see my daughter, hurt, or worse. I didn't know, I couldn't tell if she was ok. I do know the accident was bad. I wanted to know if she was ok. The police told us all to stay in our vehicles. I wanted to hug that lady.

Then I started to play "what if". I had been running a little late because I had lunch with my daughter earlier. And it was so spur of the moment. What if I hadn't done that? Would that have been me?? Or would I have been able to help? Oh I have to stop playing this game in my head. I look over again and they cant get the girl out of the car. I feel so helpless. I think I just watched that lady see her daughter die. I have to get out of here.

I manage to wiggle my way out of the line and turn around to go the other way. I went about my day, but I had that feeling of.....life is so perishable. Like ripe fruit, one day its good to eat and the next it is fermented and rotten. Just like that. We are all so perishable. We are all so busy. Do you know how perishable you are??? We all have an expiration date. Only we aren't like a carton of eggs and have that date printed on our outside so people know when to enjoy us by. So stop. Stop making excuses to live. Call someone you love and tell them that. Have some beef with an old friend? Put it to rest. Always wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge?? Well stop buying online purses and buy a plane ticket instead. That dog you have?? He wants to go on a walk. He does not care if it is snowy outside. Ask your kids how their day was, and then actually listen to them when they tell you. Kiss a baby. Drink a beer. Live before you expire. Don't be the rotten mayonnaise in the fridge.


I cant stop thinking about the mom who I think lost her daughter.....I hope she is comforted by her loved ones. I hope she and her daughter had a great relationship. I hope we all learn to live before we expire.

The Waiting Room

It is 9:45am. You've been sitting in that chair since 9:00 am. You even showed up 15 minutes early. You made sure to shave extra well this morning, brushed your teeth just a little longer. You even dolled up your eyes with a little eyeliner and lash extending mascara. It's 10am. You are still sitting in that chair. You've watched Hoda and Kathy Lee. You've listened to the 4 year old ask his mommy every question under the moon. You have to pee, but you can't. You have to wait. You are in the waiting room. And even when the nurse does call your name, it will only be to ask you a few questions, judge you about the number on the scale, tell you to take your clothes off, and then leave you in there, waiting. You are in the waiting room. It sucks. You know that eventually , the doctor will show up. He will give you his time, and answer your questions. You will feel comforted that the news isn't that bad. Or maybe you will breakdown because it is worse than you can imagine. At the end of the day though, you saw the doctor. You had to wait for him, but you got what you showed up for.

Such is life. It is much like a waiting room. Sometimes things don't just happen with the snap of the finger. Sometimes, you have to shave extra well, brush your teeth a little longer, and make sure your socks are super white. It is part of the process. In order to get to the end point, you have to sit in the waiting room, and in order to get to the waiting room, you have to get yourself together. You wouldn't show up in your pajamas (well, maybe some of us would, but humor me here).

I have been in a lot of waiting rooms lately. Getting older is exhausting, and expensive. I recently sat in one and realized that I am in a different kind of waiting room. I am waiting for someone. Let me repeat that, I am WAITING for someone, not LOOKING for someone. I am not talking about a doctor. I have lots of those and they are great. I have spent the last several months of my life "getting myself ready for the appointment" so to speak. Getting my shit together. Life disappointed me ONCE again. But I chose it, so I lived with it.  So I took some extra care of myself. Maybe I got a lot of massages. I began a fitness routine that is kicking my ass into shape. I saw a therapist, GAAAAA. I went to the beach and sat in a chair for days on end and refreshed my mind. I got ready for life. Because I don't show up for anything in my pajamas. So here I am, all cleaned up, all shiny and fresh and clean teeth and hair. .....even some clinical strength deodorant. I am in the waiting room.

I know that eventually, "that someone" will open the door and call my name. I know that pacing around and glaring at the nurses will not make that door open any sooner. I might as well take my newly toned rear end to a seat and enjoy the wait. I am not going to stress about how long I will have to wait. I am just going to keep myself busy and entertained until that door opens. Because good things come to those who wait, right?

So if you find yourself in the waiting room, don't be the obnoxious one who irritates everyone else in the waiting room. Sit down and read a magazine and wait for the door to open. Don't be an ass.

One more thing, since I am in the waiting room waiting on "you". I am going to fill out the information sheet so you know what to expect when you call my name. Here it goes:

I am insane. In the best way. I have a history of heart problems, so be easy on mine. I drink a lot of coffee and beer. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs, but I feel compelled to invest in the marijuana stocks because it is the new S&P. I don't like to get up early, but I love coffee at sunrise. I am moody. I am overly giving sometimes, which causes me more heart problems. I cry a lot. Happy and sad tears. Those animal abuse commercials will send me into a solid 2 hour depression. I like to help people, please don't tell me that is dumb and a waste of time, or I will probably not like you. I like to do new things, and I am always on the go. That's how I like it. I will give you the shirt off of my back as long as you don't stab me in mine. I DO NOT like heavy metal music, but I like everything else. I think I have a good sense of humor, and you should, too. I am a big dork, really. I giggle anytime I hear words that sound dirty even though they are not. I like Flamingos, a lot. But most importantly what you need to know about me, is that I have seen a lot of pain, and a lot of joy. They have made me who I am, sitting in this room, waiting so patiently for you, whatever your name is. I hope you have dark hair though. Oh, and I hope you like to travel. That should just about do it.......

This is a picture that one of my friends recently posted on facebook. When I saw it, I knew it should belong to me.Why? Because it is ok to be okay! Why do Mothers beat themselves up so much about motherhood? Well, there are a lot of answers to that question. Lets start with society. It picks at us, pulls us apart, measures our worth by how well we can make a peanut butter sandwich look like the latest Disney character so our kids will eat it. Society screams at us to not feed them gluten, or dairy, or anything with chemicals in it. Yet, society pushes us to run through the drive through to feed them chemically processed food because we are so busy running them to dance, cheer, softball, girl scouts, church camp, and my personal fave, manners club. So what is a mamma to do?? Here is the first step...stop trying to be the best mom in the world. That is a title that is incapable of ever being filled ladies.

Here is what you need to do..LOWER your expectations. Strive to be OKAY. Quit letting those other moms who are living with the idea that to be perfect means to have it all together all of the time, run you down. SO WHAT if your kiddos don't have the bento lunch box that require you to carve all of their food into little animals and shapes and still have time to put your clean underwear on in the mornings. STOP!! I am just going to keep going on and on with ways to stop being perfect and start being okay. Here is why.....because when you let go of trying to give your kid the world and being the BEST PARENT EVER, something magical happens.....you form a better relationship with your kid, and you actually get to know them for who they are, not who you wish they were.

Ok all you momarazzi, I am talking to you. It is ok to take pictures of our kids. However, when you miss out on the event you are there to enjoy watching, because you've taken 439 photos of every move your bambino made in the school play, here is what happens: you do not watch the whole experience. You do not pay attention because you have a camera up your eyeballs. Also, it is distracting to the OKAY parents that came there to watch the play, not film a documentary on it. Now I cant see my kid who has a 3 second speaking part in the whole thing, because you are walking around snapping pictures like you work for TMZ or something, STOP!! Just sit your mom jeans down in a chair and WATCH the entire show, and enjoy the moment you are in now, and take a cute photo after the play with little Suzie and her cast members.

Harvard moms, you're up. Don't get me wrong, getting good grades are important and crucial to succeeding down the road. Don't do your kids homework for them. My kids are so lucky, I don't understand math or science past 3rd grade level, so not only am I not able to do it for them, I cant even help them. I honestly have written many letters to teachers telling them to please not punish my kids because they needed help and I could not help them because I am not smart enough to remember an obtuse triangle. Set a time for homework, make them do it, and let the teachers grade it. and if they are doing homework at 11pm at night, you may want to consider cutting some of the extra curricular activities out. I am guilty of this one! You have their life so jam packed full of stuff that they cant do homework. Treat education like a sport. Make time for it, practice, and make it a priority so when the big day comes, the report card reflects the work. But do not shame your child for struggling. I have a kid who if she maintained a C average, I was ecstatic!! That was just her level of learning, and caring. I accepted her for that and never shamed her as long as she TRIED. My other one, she is all A's, and I do expect a little more from her because her abilities are different than her sister. As long as she tries, it is an A in moms grade book.

I am an okay mom. I am perfectly ok with that. I don't always get my kids to school on time. Or the doctors office. I forgot to get a physical before school started this year. I forget to load money on my kiddos lunch account and they come home starving because they didn't eat lunch. Yes, I have given my kids tylenol a time or two when they were young to help them sleep. I forgot to order a yearbook one year. I am not the dugout mom who keeps the scorebook and wears the color coordinated hair bows, but you bet your ass I am there, watching, cheering. I don't know my kids grades right now if you asked me....I figure if they get bad, the teacher will call me, and she wont be able to play sports. My kids are not perfect, and sometimes they will do things that are not right. But do me a favor, come to me first, instead of running your mouth all over town about it to others. I will set them straight for things they do wrong. I don't make homemade pie crust. I don't fold my kids laundry, I put it in a basket and deliver it to their room. I don't own an iron. I forget to feed my dog sometimes when I am in a hurry. The baby books I created when they were babies have not been touched since age 3. I don't like being a chaperone on the bus or field trips....I am not good at looking after my own, why would you want me looking after yours?? my kids see me fail. My kids see me cry. They sometimes have to remind me of things we have to do. I don't like buying them things with their names sewn on them. I am horrible at pushing them to sell pto stuff, so I buy it all. I am not perfect, and I do not want to be. I have been at school functions and could literally feel the other moms judging me for the way I raise my kids and live my life. It is funny how the ones to judge are often the ones with the most skeletons in their closets. Sometimes my dishes pile up because I wont do them, and neither will they. So it becomes a stand off until there are no clean dished in the house.
Sometimes, I cant make it to my kids stuff. Sometimes, I just don't want to go, but I do. I am the worlds most okayest mom. And I am proud to hold that title.

Here is what happens when you are okay. You enjoy the moment you are in. You may not have a picture of every stinking thing they did, but you have the experience of enjoying your kids in that. I will never forget pop flys caught by my girls, or a base stolen, even though I didn't take a pic of it. There are some things in life to just enjoy, experience. I have some of the best conversations with my kids in the car, or at the Mexican restaurant because I was too tired to cook for them.  I am okay. And you can be okay to. Lets start a new movement......stop giving our kids the world, and start being in their world. put your expectations in your new Coach purse, and start paying attention to what is really important.

Now, I am going to go wake my kiddo up and start this day!!!

It's a beach blog, kind of like a beach ball but not really.

So, who blogs about their vacation while they're still on vacation? ME. I have spent the week in Gulf Shores AL with my kids and my new son in law-ish, and my 14 yr olds bestie. OH. AND MY GRANDBABY!!  It has by all accounts been a perfect vacation. Everyone has gotten along very well, and we have all done fun things, enjoyed the beach, and some amazing food.

Someone very dear to me taught me to write things down as I think of them, so I can go back and use it later when I want to write. I didn't do any of that, but the idea of it is really good. She also taught me that you can understand a lot about yourself if you just take in the moment you are in and not worry about what is to come. I taught her stuff too but that is not the point here....

I used to micro manage and dictate every second of vacation for my family. It was exhausting. But we got shit done. And had 10,000 pictures to prove it. Now, I don't do that. I let it be, as the tattoo on my foot suggests. Sure we had a few things planned to do while we are here, and we did them all. But I took the need to control out of it. We just did what we wanted and appreciated the moment that we were in while we were in it and didn't think about missing anything. It was great.

 I spent a lot of time on the beach. If you know me, you know that is my happy place. And I am not just saying that because I can sit in a bathing suit all day and drink beer and no one judges me. The beach truly connects me to the deepest part of my soul. I can sit and watch the waves crash down on the sand all day long. And I did. I thought about so many things, were I was a year ago. Five years ago. 10 years ago. My mind has changed so much in 10 years. I wasn't able to ever be "in the now".
This week, I have been in the now. I have listened to music that I love, that takes me to a time that makes me happy, not sad. I have looked into my granddaughters eyes and saw my legacy. I have laughed with my kids, and even watched my daughters best friend try to pee on her after she got stung by a jellyfish. Talk about entertaining. I heard my son in law say he needs to work on his"cuisine" when he meant to say physique. And I have watched my oldest daughter be a super good mommy.

As I watched the dolphins swim in the mornings, I first thought, what an easy life, to swim all day and play and know the humans think you are great. Then I thought, wait a minute.....dolphins have problems, too. On our Dolphin cruise we were told that they get scaly and have no way to bath themselves and that is why they like playing in the wake that boats leave, because it is like a shower for them. They get sick, they are hunted by other sea creatures, and for petes sakes they don't know the genius of Nicki Minaj or Ellie Goulding doing dirty rap cover songs!!! Really though, how easy is it for all of us to look at other people and think they have it so much better than you? I call bullshit. Everyone has crap. Maybe its money crap, maybe its health crap, or job crap, or family crap, self esteem crap, mental crap, grieving crap, crap gumbo, fried crap, boiled crap.....WAIT, I just went all Forrest Gump on you, sorry. Point is, crap is crap. When you find yourself in your crap, don't envy someone else, they have crap too. Its all just a bunch of crap.

Now, back to the Ocean. Today I was laying in my little beach hammock thingy, watching the waves come to shore. I thought about all of my crap. And I decided that most of my crap is just stuff I created , imagined, or falsely believed was crap. So I decided to write all of the things that I am dealing with, that I don't want to deal with anymore, in the sand. All of my fears, problems and hurts, I wrote them in the sand and then watched the waves wash over them and then they were gone. A clean slate. I can say I literally felt them leave my mind and body when the waves took them to sea. I cried. Some of those things I wrote in the sand, I have been holding onto for awhile hoping they would get better or find a solution. Crying was good, because it meant I was in the now and I was feeling the pain of letting things go that I needed to. Not all things we let go are bad things. Sometimes you just come to a point in your life when you realize you are a sum total of all of your choices. Sometimes, your crap is you. Sometimes, you are the reason you are hurting. Self Sabotage, that was one I wrote in the sand. I am not doing that anymore. When good things come to me, I am going to accept them because I deserve them. Not push them away in fear. The Gulf Shores AL coastline now has a lot more crap in it, because I wrote a lot of things in that sand today. So when I journey home tomorrow, that is right where it will stay.

There is a new normal for me. My family dynamics have changed, my social circle has changed, and my quality of life has changed. Parts of that are sad, parts of it are amazing. But when you put them all together, its pretty damn perfect. I have new goals, new plans, and new hopes for MY future. Not my children's, MINE. But it has to start with me...and protecting my little tribe from poison and evil.
So I will do that , and look forward to everyday I get with it.

Now, if you don't mind, I have a new tattoo to get!!!

Thanks for reading

Who's in your tribe?

You ever heard the saying, "Simple Life"? Well life isn't so simple. Sometimes you have to draw a circle and put all the things you love inside that circle. The people, things, places, things, etc that make your life happy, go here, in that circle. You have to protect that circle though. Don't just let new things come in without earning their place first. And sometimes, the things you have had in that circle don't make you happy anymore, so you have to get rid of them, so you can make room for more. You can't make the circle any bigger, because the circle is your life. You only have one. Stake your claim on what you want. The memories, the places, the things and the people. I think I mentioned that earlier. Sometimes you will let things that have hurt you seep into your circle. they take up too much space. They steal your happy. Your happy just walks away and then you wonder why your circle is so empty. You allowed people who didn't earn a spot into your circle, and they filled it with their venom and suffocated the happy out. Remember here, YOU get to decide who and what gets in your circle!! You are the captain here. You pick your tribe. Be picky.

And you know what?? You can re-draw your circle and fill it with good things. Good people.  Good places. Good memories. Sometimes, your tribe needs to be downsized. If something or someone isn't authentic, then banish it out! like, for instance....have you ever met someone who just puts on a show for life? Say maybe they show up to events and make sure they snap the picture, and tell the world, "hey, look at me! I am so awesome , and so involved in this persons life!" but in private, they have no clue what it is like to really know that person. They don't know what their favorite color is, or if they had a bad day. or if they need a friend. They don't know because they are not really in their life.  They just show up for things a few times a year and call themselves a friend, or family. We all have people like that in our lives. Glory seekers. Get them out of your tribe. You know who deserves to be in your tribe??? The people who would drive or fly across country if they new you were in trouble and scared. Even if it costs them their entire bank account to get there. The people that deserve to be in your tribe are the ones that ask you how you are and you say, its a drive off the cliff kind of day, and they are there in two minutes with a bottle of wine, or vodka...hey, tomato, tomatoe.  The people that deserve tribehood are the ones that wont call you names or degrade you if you make a bad choice in life. Pick those people. because I am here to tell you this....the bad tribe members will run the good tribe members right out of your happy little circle!!! And then you have to draw another damn circle and then by this time your hand will be cramped from drawing so many circles that you will start making poor tribe choices again, and then you will just self implode. Don't do that.....just make good tribe choices.

I have recently seen who my true tribe members are. Thick and thin, they have stuck by me through all of my good , bad, and ugly. And the ugly was like the ugliest ugly, ever. But your true tribe members know your core. They see through your bullshit. They know your potential. And because they know all of these things....they don't give up on you, also they know that you are their tribe member also...it goes both ways. You don't give up on them, they may remember a time when they needed you, maybe they lost a loved one...and you devoted your time to them and didn't try to fix the situation, but you were just there. To hand them tissues, and hugs. And to pick out a funeral outfit for you, because you cant think. You are their tribe member, and they need you, too.

This weekend I was blessed with a rare opportunity....I was with MOST of my tribe members all in one place. it fed my soul. it reminded me to feed my tribe members souls as well. It also reminded me that I have lost some tribe members.....and that is ok. The circle was getting crowded with negative. It was needed. Also remember this, you may be a negative in someone else's circle......and there will come a time when they decide to draw a new circle without you in it. So be prepared for that, because sometimes......it really sucks.


Thanks for reading